Posted by: Jennifer | February 26, 2010

Home School Hilarity

So much of what happens in a day of homeschooling leads to amusement that I started writing the funnier comments down.  Looking over them the other day, I realized I had a funny story for just about every subject and wanted to share them:

Language

Thy ___________ be done. 

In order to complete the Lord’s Prayer, my youngest (I’ll call her Sweetie) had to choose from the following list: heaven, bread, Father, and will. 

I looked down, and there was her sentence—

Thy BREAD be done. 

For some reason, that truly tickled my funny bone, probably more so because you absolutely cannot laugh at a little girl’s earnest efforts.  It was such a perfectly logical assumption for a six-year-old, don’t you think?  I could almost hear her thought process…people want to eat done bread because if it’s not done, it’s just not good.  She read my smile, though, and then with much affront, erased her rendition, and went about correcting the page.

Bible

We have friends that live a few towns north of us in Port St. Lucie, but they still go to our church and participate in all our local activities.  One afternoon when the girls were younger, we were driving to the friend’s house, and my daughters couldn’t get over how far it was.  My eldest (I’ll call her Sunshine) proclaimed if she lived that far she would find a new church.  Sweetie thought we were in another country.  (You wouldn’t think they had flown to England!) 

A few days later, we were reading about the Tower of Babel.  Trying to engage Sweetie, I asked her: “Now where were they trying to build their tower up to?” 

She looked at me, smiled the smile of a little student who just “knows this answer,” punched her fist in the air and hollered:  “Port St. Lucie!” 

Well, why not?  In her mind that was the farthest place she could think of, and a tower as high as the distance from our house to Port St. Lucie would surely be worthy of a story in the Bible!

Spanish

After unsuccessfully trying numerous Spanish books, last year I took the plunge and bought the Rosetta Stone home school version.  I’ve been very happy with my purchase and especially like the voice-matching pronunciation feature–the program will not allow us to advance unless we are pronouncing the given word or phrase correctly.  Well, Sweetie sits there, and if it won’t accept her attempt, she alters her voice and you can hear her at the computer saying, “Bebe agua” in a high sweet voice, then in a low growl, then in a whisper, and then very loudly…by which time we’re all laughing hysterically.  To make it funnier, the computer doesn’t know that the laughter isn’t an attempt at speech and it keeps dinging that she’s wrong and should try again. 

We probably won’t master Spanish anytime soon, but we’re definitely having a good time trying!

Spelling

Just last week, Sunshine was grumping about her spelling words.  Now, I know we have spell check at the touch of a button but spelling correctly is a big deal to me.  Something can be beautifully written, and if a word is spelled incorrectly, for me the whole piece will nosedive because my brain is snagged on that misspelled word.  Trying to get this idea across I ended my pep talk with, “…so it’s important to know how to spell well.” 

Her sweet response?  “I already know how, Mommy:  W-E-L-L!  There! Am I done?” 

(By the way…spell check says ‘grumping’ is not a word…!)

Reading

When we were first learning to read by sounding out words, without fail things would fall apart at the word ‘but’.   The scenario would play out something like this:

 “B-U-T… but….BUT…BUT?”  Sweetie would turn and look at me in mock horror and dramatically ask, “They said but in the book?”  Forget continuity, we would be hung up on the word “but” and apt to stay there for a while for the sole reason that, according to Sweetie, they hadn’t learned not to have a potty mouth!

Vocabulary

Last November, in the middle of a day of school, we ran to the post office so I could mail an important letter.  It was raining, so I pointed out the mail box and asked Sunshine to drop it in the slot.  I watched her, full of grown-up-importance, hesitate between two different boxes and then I groaned as she dropped it into the ‘metered mail’ slot instead of the one I had pointed out.  That’s what I got for being afraid of a few raindrops…

When she got back to the car I asked her why and she explained:  “I looked at both the boxes and the one said ‘mattered’ mail and you said this mail matters!”  She then shrugged, as if to challenge me to argue with that logic.

Thankfully a post office employee was thinking outside the (mail)box that day and our property tax check did make it on time!

Geography

And, here’s the last one for now.  I love this one since it’s not only funny, but it shows me my youngest is listening and learning way more than I realize!

Sunshine: “The Tigris and Euphrates River flow into the PERSIAN GULF.” I was impressed she remembered and said so.

“Oh,” she went on, “it’s easy to remember, we were just there this weekend in the Keys.”

I sat there confused, wondering in what alternate reality she had managed to make it to the Persian Gulf while we were in the Keys when Sweetie piped up, “That was the GULF of Mexico, silly.”  Sunshine’s eyes went wide at being corrected so handily by her little sister and Sweetie started laughing at her own brilliance and kept it up until we all joined in.

SO… if you want to study long towers while eating done bread and hearing multiple personalities shout at the Spanish computer program, please stop by.  We can read books without a ‘but,’ spell well and focus on what matters.  We’re only a short drive from any Gulf, and would love to hear of your own funniest home school/homework moments!

“After thunder, rain may be expected.”

                                  Sunshine’s rendition of our favorite quote by Socrates after his grumpy wife apparently yelled and threw a bucket of water on him as he left the house.                            

A Child’s History of the Word by Virgil M. Hillyer, p.121.

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Responses

  1. I work in my children’s school as a teacher’s aide. Our Prep (you call it kinder?) teacher has started a quote book. They come out with some beauties.

  2. Kids say the cutest things dont they? Especially homeschooled kids! I wish I could remember all the things my girls come up with!

    • And I wish I could get back all those comments I was sure I would remember and never wrote down….!


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